When It's Over: How To Mend That Broken Heart

(Print) - $12.95

ISBN 978-1-4092-1476-2

Most of us have been through it, or are going through it right now.

None of us like it. It can be a very frustrating, confusing and painful experience.

The break up of an intimate relationship.

When It’s Over: How To Mend That Broken Heart addresses some of the most important

concerns when a relationship ends. It also covers what people can do to get through the

grieving process and emerge to face a brighter future; with renewed hope and fresh confidence.

A break up is not the end of the world. It can be a new beginning.

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~ Reviews ~

By Bree Miller "Breezy" (Florida) November 1, 2008

Relationship break ups can be a really tough time and hard to get over. I've been through it recently myself, and I hated every minute of it. I really started to doubt myself for a while and no longer believed I had anything good to offer in a relationship. I guess we all tend to feel like that when we get dumped.

Not knowing what else to do to pick myself up again, I started searching Amazon for some books on the subject. I chose this one (mainly based on its price and description), and I'm glad I did.

It's not a long book. But who wants to read anything too detailed and intense when you're feeling depressed anyway? This book is short and to the point, which is exactly what I wanted, and the author is very sympathetic throughout. However, in the good advice that he offers, he doesn't mince words. Tells it like it is and offers some very sound tips on how to get through this hard time and emerge feeling positive and optimistic. I learnt some valuable lessons from this book, one of them being to realize that a break up with a partner is by no means the end of the world: A way we all tend to feel when we go through a difficult time.

I recommend this book to anyone suffering relationship pain. It will help.

~ Excerpts ~

There Is Life After Love

Falling out of love is not the end of the world, no matter how much it feels like it at the time. Going through a break up can be a very confusing, painful and traumatic experience.

But there is hope.

There is life after love.

Get Those Feelings Under Control

In the last chapter we covered a number of points in dealing with grief and its processes.

To start a fresh life after a break up, and to have a positive outlook on the future, everything discussed in the previous chapter really needs to be diligently worked on. If necessary, re-read the last section on a regular basis to remind yourself of some of the things you can do to get those feelings under control.

Learn From Mistakes

Once your feelings are more manageable and you are getting past the grieving stage, it is now a good time to ponder what went wrong in the relationship, and what you yourself could do better next time.

This isn’t suggesting to beat yourself up over anything. It’s about learning from past mistakes so they won’t be repeated in the future.

No matter how good you are, or think you are, none of us is infallible. We all make mistakes and it is important to pinpoint those errors so that they can be eradicated or avoided.

Make a list of what you believe were problems or issues in your last relationship. Decide if there are any areas that you may need to adjust, and then make a conscious effort to work positively on those areas.

Don’t Look Back

You have fought your way through the grieving process and emerged back into the light on the other side. Your emotions are more under control. You feel half human again. You’ve analyzed what went wrong and are working on improving anything that you have some control over in your own life.

It’s important now not to look back. You’ve been through the hardest part. You are getting over your ex and that relationship is gradually starting to fade from view.

Don’t let your thoughts return to dwell on anything negative (or even positive in some cases) from that relationship. It’s over. It’s done. It will serve no useful or beneficial purpose to rehash it from this point forward.

Now is the time to be looking forward.

Starting Over

You are just beginning the journey on a new life. You are back in control, the creator of your own destiny. The world is out there waiting for you. So is new love, if you want it.

But before you take that next step, it is important to prepare yourself first so that you can tackle new opportunities with an air of fresh confidence.

Limbo Land

The dreaded and paralyzing world of limbo land.

Being trapped in this unenviable place opens a person up to a whole new world of potential pain and emotional damage. Not to mention leaving one with an inability to get on with their lives and move forward.

No matter how long you were with your partner, no matter how much you love them, no matter how much they promise you that the two of you will get back together some day, limbo land is not a place you want to allow yourself to wander.

If your ex-partner truly wanted to be with you, then they would never have broken it off in the first place. Sure, maybe they could have made a mistake and want you back; but it’s not likely. Anyway, how long are you prepared to wait around to find this out? How much of your valuable time and life do you want to waste being stuck in a realm of emptiness and further confusion?

Believe me, limbo land is a very frustrating place. I’ve been there. Don’t make the error of falling into this trap just because it feels too hard to let go.

Often it’s a case of the other partner wishing to keep their options open. They want to see who else they can find, and if that doesn’t work out, they know they will have you there waiting to fall back on. Comforting for them, not so comforting for you.

Do you really want to be that person? Second, third, tenth choice? No, you don’t. You deserve far better than that.

If you find yourself falling into this trap, if your ex is keeping you hooked in with false promises of hope, get out of limbo land as fast as you can. Ignore the feelings that will fight and struggle against your decision.

You have to get out of that scenario. It’s soul destroying.

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